Neji Over Angsts Some More
by remuus
Summary: So says Neji in his never-ending quest to angst, "I SHALL OUT-ANGST YOU ALL" Now with 10 percent more depressing poetry!
1. Depressing Poetry

**Author: **theshinykitty**  
Warning: **…Some major Neji OOC**  
Disclaimer: **Naruto isn't mine.

You might want to read the prequel to this story, 'Neji Over-Angsts', you could still understand this is you haven't read that one to some extent, but, whatever.

**---**

**Neji Over-Angsts Some More  
**Ch1: Depressing Poetry

**---**

**(Neji POV)**

This has just been one God-awful day.

Seriously, it is possibly even worse than the day my father died.

...And if Sasuke can read my thoughts, um... forget that I thought that last thought.

SO ANYWAYS, I was leaning against the railing of my favorite angsting bridge (I say I go there to angst, but I really go there to think about where to eat tomorrow). I'm staring blankly at the water, but from the side, it looks like I'm furrowing my brows in deep angst mode. There's a cage of white doves behind me, ready to be let go at anytime by me, if anyone so happens to walk past me.

In other words, I was in full angst/symbolic rage and sadness mode at the time.

And Uchiha comes and RUINS IT ALL.

That bastard!!

He thinks he's ju-ust so great, all because his family and everybody and everything dear to him was destroyed by his brother; the only person he ever loved, admired, and looked up to!!

Never!

I would have chewed him out right then and there, but I had my image to protect. The 'Strong, Silent Type' is one of the hardest images to maintain, you know! There's plenty of times when I just want to yell to Lee, 'Shuddup!!' and smack him in the kisser, but I withhold my random urges of violence because of my image.

Well, Sasuke, oh-mighty-'King of Angst', you had better watch that brooding gaze of yours, because I shall overthrow you as Supreme Angst Overlord!!

...And here is where I would laugh in an evil and/or slightly crazed manner, but, of course, Gaara owns that shtick...

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**The Next Day**

---

I hear my alarm clock ringing exactly at 6:00 a.m. I know this because I was already woke up, an hour before. Why didn't I turn it off before it rang, then? Because shut up.

And what exactly was I doing for that full hour before (cough-evil-cough) Hiashi and Hinata and the rest of the Main House stumble out of their king size feather beds into the kitchen, where I, we, the Branch house have to cook them pancakes and waffles and bacon and eggs and we ourselves get nothing but gruel and crumbs?!

I'm sure you forgot the question throughout that entirely too long interrogative, so I'll ask me that question again in the guise of you in shortened form; Why was I up so early?

Why, to think about new, more exciting ways to angst, of course!

...Stop looking at me like that.

And what have I come up with?

Depressing poetry.

Yes. Poetry. By Neji. Neji who is me. DEPRESSING poetry.

HOORAY!!

...I mean... damn... you all...

---

**A Few Hours Later**

---

So I'm sitting in front of my brand new laptop (If you steal it, I will kill you, you don't want to know what kind of murde- I mean, things... I had to do to get it...), and a blank notepad document is on my screen.

Curse you infernal blinking cursor! Curse you and your... BLINKING!!

...Okay, where should I start?

...Hm... Sad people often refer to the color black... I should put that somewhere...

OOH! And I could make some sort of simile about death being really... not... cool...

...EMPTINESS!! Angsty people write about emptiness, right?!

WHOO!! I am on a roll!

---

**A Half-Hour Later**

---

Okay, here's what I have:

_'I feel sad.  
The darkness is very hard to see in...  
...Even with my Byakugan.  
There is emptiness and shadows inside me...  
It's like death.  
Death, which swallows you and eats you and digests you in it's stomach,  
And spits you out again for some reason.  
There is much pain also.  
Pain like someone poking you with...  
Death.'_

...Was that good?

I think I personified death as some sort of crocodile very nicely.

I hit the print button on the computer screen and sit back with my hands behind my head, eating a candy cigar.

Nice job, Neji.

Nice job.

---

**An Hour Later**

---

...Okay... How am I supposed to get this thing published...?

Without any financial backing, I can never become King of Angst!!

...Damn that last surviving Uchiha, therefore getting every other Uchiha's fortunes!!

...Sigh... So I'm walking around Konoha Square aimlessly, poem in hand when something hits me.

Literally, hits me. Smack in the face.

...Curse that blind spot, also...

I picked up the offending piece of paper, looked at it, and nearly shouted, 'Eureka!', which of course, had I actually shouted that, would have made my angsting status go down 14 points.

It was a flyer for a depressing poetry contest!!

With this, I shall beat Uchiha ONCE AND FOR ALL.

(Did I ever fight him before? I don't remember... Someone go back in the manga and check for me please...)

---

**The Day of the Poetry Contest **

**---**

"Welcome, fellow angsters, to the 12th annual Depressing Poetry Contest!!"

Okay, I may have exaggerated how the judge said that a bit. In actuality, he just kind of mumbled it into the microphone, and used fewer exclamation marks.

I, of course, was wearing my angsting beatnik costume. Beret and all. (Why I have this outfit, I have no idea). I almost considered bringing a set of bongos to play as I read, but I decided that snapping my fingers would be just as effective.

I was sitting at a small coffee table sipping a cafe latte when they announced the first contestant.

"UCHIHA SASUKE," the judge mumbled.

I spit my cafe latte out and hit the guy in front of me.

Well, Sasuke, you want to play rough? Well, I shall out-angst you. I'll out-angst you all right... I'LL OUT-ANGST YOU ALL!!

-end ch 1-

_…Gasp! Who will win this battle of the angst?! Find out next time on: 'Randal McSiloh: Police Detective Fireman Superman'._

---

Number of times 'Angst' or any form of the word was used in the story: 19 times.

Should I continue...? I don't know if I should...

Read? Review?


	2. Some More Depressing Poetry

**

* * *

Author: theshinykitty  
****Warning:** Major everybody OOC, and making fun of angsting  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, sorry to disappoint you… theshinykitty Major everybody OOC, and making fun of angsting I don't own Naruto, sorry to disappoint you…**

* * *

**

**Neji Over-Angsts Some More  
**Ch2: Some More Depressing Poetry

**---**

I'm sitting at a table, sipping my cafe latte, at a Depressing Poetry Contest, when all-of-a-sudden, that... BASTARD Uchiha gets called up to the stage!!

I would have unleashed a Gentle Fist on everybody right then and there if it hadn't been for my image. Sometimes this 'strong, silent type' image just... annoys me. I maybe could switch to the 'evil, crazy type', but Gaara was just go all Shakuku on me.

...Gah...

So I'm glaring at Uchiha all the while he's walking up to the stage and stands at the microphone. He clears his throat, and begins his poem.

_"I'm sad._

_Everybody I love is dead."_

There's a brief moment of silence in which I'm thinking that Sasuke will go on, but... no. Apparently that's the end. And everyone just... claps.

What the hell?! They're clapping!! And yelling 'Woo!' Argh!! And did someone just throw a rose onstage?!

I'm seriously mad now. 'Looks calm, but really is ready to decapitate anyone who comes near' type mad. I take out the stress ball from my pocket, which is where I always keep it in case of these kinds of emergencies, because if I made a scene, I would be punted from angsty, to just plain sad. D'oh.

I'm thinking how much it would lower my angsting status if I threw my coffee mug at Sasuke's head, when I hear my name being called.

"HYUUGA NEJI," the judge mumbles into the microphone, "is next, but seeing as how good Uchiha Sasuke's poem is, I think I'll just declare Sasuke the winner!!"

...Okay... WHAT?!

Blood pressure... RISING...

I open my Byakugan-ified eyes and see Sasuke getting a small trophy saying 'Angsting Champion' on it, and a gift certificate to Hot Topic, and I just snap.

---

A Few Hours Later

---

When I finally wake up, I'm in a hospital bed, with the steady beep-beep-beep of the heart monitor next to me.

All of a sudden, I hear it flat line.

I freak out for a moment, and then die. But a few minutes later, as I'm lying there, I decide that this really doesn't feel like dying, and I revive myself.

Then, I look to the left of me and realize that the heart monitor was for the guy next to me, and I was alive the whole time.

...Ha ha ha... That's one for the employee lounge...

So anyways, I take a good look at the guy who's flat lined and see that it's the Depressing Poetry Contests' judge, with a huge hole through his chest.

Memories of the past few hours flash by me. I remember... blood, splintered wood, scraps of depressing poetry flying through the air, and me shouting, "I deserve the trophy, I'm supreme angst overlord!! I'll kill you all!!" and then some anguished screams of pain.

Hm... That certainly clears up the gap in my mind. I apparently killed off 2/3' s of Konoha's angsting population...

Oh well, less competition for me.

I climb out of the hospital bed, pulling those damn tubes out of me, a few drops of blood still clinging to my shirt, and walk out of the hospital.

And just then, I see Sasuke walking beside me, apparently uninjured.

"You can't kill me," he says, "The power of my angst is far too strong for your weak Byakugan!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

I stare at him for a moment and then say, "No... I don't think evil laughing really suits you, unless you have your Sharingan or curse seal activated, of course. I think you should just stick to evil mumbling."

"...Yeah, yeah... I think that sounded a bit awkward too... Thanks for the tip, bye."

"Bye."

I watch as Sasuke makes his way off into the sunset dramatically, and I go over the conversation I had just then, and all that comes to mind is, 'wait... what?'

* * *

I placed fourth overall in my district quiz bowl competition!! All bow down to my nerdiness!!

Read? Review?


	3. New Style

_**Author:** theshinykitty  
**Warning:** Major OOC  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto not mine_

_If you had 360 degree vision, you could, like, watch a whole bunch of TVs... AT THE SAME TIME._

_Is it just me, or does Neji seem to be bipolar, or something?_

**---**

**Neji Over Angsts Some More  
**Ch3: New Style

**---**

After walking home from the hospital, I arrive at the Hyuuga mansion.

I walk down the lane, past the bush sculptures of kunais and puppies, to the elaborately carved front door. Then, I take a sharp 90-degree turn, and walk around to the back of the mansion.

And there, in all its ramshackle glory, is the Branch House. They, meaning those... MAIN HOUSE bastards, call it a house, but we of the Branch House prefer to call it 'crap'.

It seems to be made of the leftover wood pieces from when they were building the Main House mansion, and it's painted a grotesque... pink… color. Ew. Bastards!!

I walk into the doorway, and make my way down the hall, to my room.

I slammed the door to my room behind me, and I heard someone down the hall yelling, "Hey! Some of us are plotting revenge y'know!" I made a mental note to smite that person the next time I saw him. And just to be mean, I opened the door, and then slammed it again, sending a shower of drywall (or... dry-ceiling...) onto my perfectly coifed hair.

...Damn.

So anyways, as I sat down on my Posture-Pedic chair, I felt something poking me in the posterior. I looked down. Apparently, the Hot Topic gift card that Sasuke had won got stuck to the seat of my pants, during my mad I was going to buy some new clothes anyways. Summer's coming and this jacket is damn hot.

---

At the Mall

---

I finally found my way to the mall, which was cleverly sandwiched between the Hokage Mountain and my house. It's odd that I never noticed it before, I mean, it's right by where I live, and you would have thought that I should have notic-

SO ANYWAYS, conveniently placed plot jump starters aside, I was utterly lost.

I made my way to the map of the mall, and after inspecting its various symbols, numbers, and what-have-yous, I finally said, "screw this," and used my Byakugan to look through the other stores to find this 'Hot Topic'.

After several minutes of winding through the mall, and once stopping for a pretzel, I reached the store.

I almost passed it entirely, since it just look like a wall of black, or something, until I saw somebody walk through the entryway.

I walked in through the entrance (after several failed attempts with results of walking into windows...), and was immediately faced with some sort of spiky, man-beast object, covered in black. I quickly took a defensive stance, should the need arise to kick it's ass.

"Hi. Welcome to Hot Topic."

I started to look around wildly to see who had said that, but then remembered I didn't need to, 'cause I had 360-degree vision.

w00t.

After a few seconds of thinking, I decided that the thing in front of me was a store employee, and he had just said that.

Oh yeah, score one for Neji. (Making that Neji: 500, Sasuke: 0)

---

30 Minutes Later

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I walk out of Hot Topic, 30 minuets later, with some black bags in hand.

Ha ha Sasuke, you thought your black shirts with crazily wide collars and your apparently useless arm sock thingies (...I suppose you could hold... snacks in there, I guess...) were angsty, but I shall show you! I'll show you all!! My clothes shall be so angsty, that you'll have to look at them through sunglasses with smiley faces painted on them to balance out the sheer angstiness of my clothing!!

I walk a few feet to the front door of my house coughshack, and walk to my room, to get ready for a crazy night on the town. Crazy and angsty. But mostly angsty.

---

_Ha ha... that was so short it wasn't even funny. Or... was it...? I dunno, you tell me, that's what the purple button is for. YAY! (...hint hint)_

_Thank you to all the reviewers also! I love you guys!! (ish startings to sound a bit of drunk...)_

_I would post review replies, but it's 1 in the morning and my brain has just committed suicide. But thanks a bunches anyways!! YAY for you guys!!_

_Read? Review?_


	4. New Style II

_**Author:** theshinykitty**  
Warning:** MAJOR OOC, Making fun of angsting**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto no ownded by me_

_Thank you to magical-flyingdragon and Ninja Shen who inspired this chapter and got me out of my writer's block!_

**-**

**Neji Over Angsts Some More**  
Ch4: New Style II

**-**

(Still, and always will be Neji POV)

Holy. Friggin'. Crap.

Check out me.

I'm so angsty looking, that puppies will cry when they see the sheer angstocity of my clothing.

w00t.

Although I was only able to buy 15 Konoha dollars worth of pants with the gift card (cheap angsty bastards), BUT: the pants I bought are so large and in charge, that it could possibly be used to make several other pairs of angsty pants, and/or an angsty shirt.

But since ruining my pants' angsty glory would be downright preposterous, I wore an old sweater my Auntie Hyuuga knitted me. It's tight and scratchy, and uncomfortable as hell.

It's perfect. (This, of course, coming from the 'Angster's Handbook,' which states that anything that is tight, uncomfortable, and in some close shade of black, is deemed angst-worthy.')

And just to throw in a bit of that emo angst, I have on a pair of thick, black rimmed, Buddy Holly glasses.

I also took off my hitai-ate, so my schweet curse seal will seem like some sort of angsty tattoo.

HAHA! Watch out sad, degenerate teenagers of Konoha, because my supreme angstiness shall over power your 'I had to take out the trash... my life sucks...' pathetic attempts at being sad! I'll be the saddest of you all! Sad I tell you! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

...cough...

-

One Hour Later

-

I open the door to my shackhouse in full angstified glory. A main house member who is walking by breaks down in tears at the mere sight of my angst.

Excellent...

I make my way down Main Konoha Boulevard, people bursting into tears as I pass. I see a pale faced teenager in all black, whose angstiness is obviously far more inferior than I, walking up to me, and of course, in tears. "TEACH ME!" he yells, clawing at my clothes. I gently pry him off and leave him there on the street, gingerly walking over him as to not get my boots dirty with his non-angsty angst.

In no time at all, I shall monopolize the feelings of pain, melancholy, and despair!

And all that's blocking me form that goal is... SASUKE, who consequently is walking up to me, also decked out in full angsterized clothing.

The people around us obviously can't manage so much angst in one place, and rush off, probable to cry in a corner. PH33R!

"AHA! I knew it! You stole my Hot Topic gift card, didn't you!" he yells, "I worked my ass off at making that poem!"

"It was seven words long!" I yell back. Argh! Abort, Abort! This is not proper angsty behavior at all! I'm supposed to cry and say, 'whatever'! DAMN YOU SASUKE! You and your... angst!

"Yeah, seven words, seven words full of PAIN," he says. I relish in the fact that Sasuke's angsting status is also dropping. "The despair of my seven words pwns you! Besides, my whole family was murdered by the one person I loved!" He then broke down in tears.

Feh. Drama queen.

But even so, I shall out-drama queen you!

"Oh yeah, well my father was murdered by some random person for no apparent reason! What do you think about that? HUH! Plus I've got a curse seal! Do YOU have a curse seal!" I retort, my eyes tearing up.

Hehe... keep this up Neji, soon... SOON!

"As a matter of fact, I do!" Sasuke says.

He nearly tears the collar of his shirt off to show me his curse seal.

I look at the suspiciously temporary tattooed on looking 'curse seal' and we spend a few minutes in silence glaring at each other. The effect of glaring was kind of ruined with all the coughfake tears in our eyes.

Then, we hear a different voice.

"Oh yeah, well I've got a bigger curse seal than both of you! And it's very ironic because it says love, which is something I do not like! Also, my father and mother are dead and they both hated me, and the only person I ever loved tried to kill me! That's FAR more angsty than any of your pathetic stories! Also, I can't sleep or I'll kill everybody."

It could only be one person.

Sasuke and I turn to face the new comer, angst filled eyes glaring daggers at him.

"Gaara."

-

**To Be Continued..!**

-

_Oh no! There's a new angster in town! Could he possibly be MORE angsty than Sasuke AND Neji! Only time will tell!_

_Okay... Stupid FFnet won't let me put question marks next to exclamation marks, or put two exclamation marks together. CURSE YOU!  
_

_If you would like to submit ideas for new chapters or suggestions, feel free to! In fact, PLEASE DO! I need ideas... -.-_

_Read? Review?_


	5. Angsty Party?

_Okay, this chapter was going to be about an angsty beauty pageant like Naruke suggested because Gaara and Sasuke and Neji (plus) angsty dresses (equals) sexiness. But then, I found some random scripts for a flash series me and my pal Wendy wrote 2 years ago, and decided to steal some plots from those. w00t. ANYWAYS, thank you to all the reviewers, if it weren't for you guys, this chapter would probably have come out super late! (Realizes it's already super late) ...Oh well. Also thanks to Mistress of the Sand, whom I stole the phrase Sandy Panda from. Sorry, it was just too funny..._

_Look up 'angst' on Google, and get an eBay ad saying 'great deals on everything angst'. I also found a 'What's Your Angst Flavor' quiz. I'm black licorice! w00t!(I have WAY too much time...)_

_MY NEW NAME IS **REMUUS**! So… yeah… when you worship me, worship me by that name._

* * *

**Neji Over Angsts Some More**  
Ch5: Angsty... Party? 

"Gaara."

We turned our angsty tear filled eyes to the one and only sandy panda.

"Yo." He raised his hand in greeting.

Sasuke and I immediately flinched, thinking he would squish us with his sand attack. Then, we flinched again because we knew that first flinch had lowered our angsting status.

...Even so, Sasuke flinched more. HA HA!

After that, we stood there in silence. Not even an angsty silence, more like... a 'WTF?' silence. Sasuke and I looked at each other for a bit, and slowly, slooowly, backed away.

**Later; at Ichiraku's**

"This injustice cannot stand!" Sasuke slammed his fist down on the table, sending a shower of noodle bits and fish chunks onto his hair.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Why is Neji, the King of Angst, at Ichiraku's with such an obviously inferior angst monger?

Because- hey! HEY! I know what you're thinking! I AM King of Angst! Fie! Fie on you and your pie!

...NOO! Damn it! Just by rhyming that last sentence, I have lowered my angsting status by 24 points!

I then bang my head on the table a few times, shouting out, "stupid! Stupid! I hate you!"

Okay... whew... now my angsting status has been raised back up 28 points.

...Heh heh...

Sasuke stares at me after my little episode, and he too starts banging his head on the table yelling, "stupid! Stupid! I hate you MORE!"

The bastard thinks he can also raise his angsting status, eh? I'll show you!

So, now Sasuke and I are BOTH banging our heads on the table and yelling things about self-hate and general not-good-feelings.

When my I lift my head to give it an extra hard slam on the table (an extra 3 points worth), I can see the owner of the Ichiraku freaking out and crying; freaking out because there are two kids half killing themselves in his restaurant (therefore raising his insurance rates 3 percent), and crying because of the sheer overload of angst in the room.

HAHA! Fear the angst! Fear it in all of its... ANGSTINESS!

But just then, we both heard a ruckus in the street.

Sasuke and I stopped mid-whack to go out and investigate the source of the disturbance.

Our angstified eyes narrowed immediately.

Gaara.

He was calmly walking down the street, and people bursting into tears at the mere sight of him. I also think the kid who came up to me before asking me to teach him to be angsty was begging at Gaara's feet now!

That bastard! He dares to come to our village and angst on OUR populace!

Something must be done...

Something... something possibly involving... ANGST.

And all of a sudden, he speaks, "Hey guys, how's it going? You both ran off before I could-"

"NOOO!" I yelled, interrupting him before he could finish his ever-so-angsty sentence, "this injustice will not, and cannot stand! I will fight it with every fiber of my angsty being! PH33R!" and yes, I even said 'ph33r' with the 3s in it. That makes it more threatening. Yes. It's true. Ask anybody.

I continued, "You... you stupid... SANDMAN! You come here with your... your... fancy tattoo and your... your GOURD, and think you can just waltz around and angst like it's nobody's business, do you!"

"I just... I just wanted to make frien-"

"YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW!" I yelled.

We then all stood there looking awkwardly at each other for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly what that meant.

"...What?" Gaara finally said, 'WTF?'age vividly emoticized upon his emotionless face.

Sasuke then realized he had not said anything in the last few paragraphs, and said rather randomly, "well, I'm going to throw an angsty party, AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED!"

Sasuke then walked away, his angsteration done, and a smug look on his face.

Gaara and I then stood there for a while... being... angsty... and such (causing to random, less angstferior people to burst into tears as they walked by), until Sasuke came back, pointed at me, and said, "oh, yeah, Neji, you're invited too."

We then walked away, into the sunset, even though it was well into the night. But when you're angsty, there's ALWAYS a sunset for you to walk off into dramatically. Western music may or may not have been playing in the background.

**At Sasuke's House**

"Okay," said Sasuke, "who are we going to invite to our angsty party?"

"...Wait..." I said, "You're ACTUALLY going to throw an angsty party?"

I honestly thought it was just a ploy to get Gaara to leave.

...But then again, if Gaara wasn't invited... then that would make Gaara sad... and sadness leads to angst... and angst leads to... DOOM.

Ha ha... you didn't think this out so well, did you, Sasuke...? You just blurted out the first Ramen MSG induced thing you thought of, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU! ADMIT IT! (Neji: 1000, Sasuke: 0)

And no, that ': 0)' thing is NOT a smiley face.

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it was his superior master plan all along, and as an angsty teenager, I should have known this.

I pretended I did.

"Oh, yeah... yeah, of course," I said, lying through my bright, straight, non-braced, yet supremely angsty teeth.

"So," continued Sasuke, "we should definitely invite Naruto."

"What?" I said, "why? He's happy. He wears orange for Kurt Cobain's sake. And orange is just... NOT angsty."

"Ah, but he's hurting on the INSIDE. And when you hurt on the inside and don't show it... that's... seriously angsty."

"...Yeah, okay, I guess," I said nonchalantly, but I was secretly thinking, 'Nice going, Neji! Angst out in public! You should have just let it stir inside of you and then announce your angst at some appropriated time and then you would've been ten times as angsty! God! Sometimes I just want to smite you!'

Mentally, I smote myself.

I sat there trying to think of other angsty people while Sasuke wrote down, 'Naruto- angsty'

"I think... we should invite Kakashi..." Sasuke said.

"GASP!" I gasped, "but he's an adult! With him around, we may possibly get into... ADULT SITUATIONS!"

"Nah..." said Sasuke, "he's Iruka's bitch. He won't do anything. And besides, he's always at Obito's grave, being... all... angsty. He just chooses not to monologue his angst... unlike SOME people."

He coughed in my direction.

"Hey!" I said in a rather loud voice (but not so loud as to be unangstic), "you monologue too!"

He looks at me funnily.

"What?" he says, "When have I ever monologued?"

"Uh..." I said sarcastically, "how about those chapters where you retold you past? It was practically overflowing with, 'oh, Aniki! How could you do this?' and those damn, 'oh ha ha, Aniki. You hit me on the head, but I'll still smile stupidly as you walk away' moments! God! You had five whole chapters of that! I only got... what? HALF a chapter! You sicken me..."

We sat there, in tense silence, glaring at each other, until Sasuke finally said, "so, Kakshi's invited..."

"Yeah." I said.

Okay, Neji, you HAVE to think of a good, angsty person, otherwise you'll LOSE. And you don't want to lose, do you? DO YOU! YOU LOSER!

So I sat down in my best thinking/angsting a little on the side pose, and... well... thought.

I re-awakened form my 'deep thinking pose' (seriously... angsty) to say, "yes, I think Chouji should be invited."

"...What?" asked Sasuke.

"Think about it," I said, "Chouji's fat, and fat people are sad because they're fat, leading them into a downward spiral of depression and Burger Hut visits."

Oh yeah, go Neji, use those big words.

"Hm..." Sasuke thought for a moment, "No, I think that Chouji is one of those jolly fat people, like Santa..."

...Damn DAMN DAMNIT!

Curse you Sasuke... I went through so much trouble with that thinking pose and you just shoot me down like that!

Well, here's an idea that'll be so angsty that you won't know where, when, what, or HOW it hit you!

"WE SHALL INVITE..." I said, pausing dramatically, "SHINO!"

To be continued! GASP!

* * *

_Yes. In my soul opinion, Shino is angsty. Yeah, you heard me. Shino is angsty. Shino is also very sexy. I love Shino. I wish he'd marry me. Read my story about Shino becoming a chuunin. It's t3h 0wn4g3._

_(This story is by no means is meant to offend fat people)_

_Read? Ideas? Review!_


	6. Angsting KungFu Generation

**Author**: remuus**  
Warning:** Major OOC**  
Disclaimer:** Naruto no me own

(...'Uzumaki Spiral' is hiatus... until I can think of how to end the first paragraph...)

I actually wrote reviewer replies for once! Haha… theys be at the bottom.

* * *

**Neji Over Angsts Some More  
**Ch6: Angsting Kung-Fu Generation

"WE SHALL INVITE..." I said, pausing dramatically, "SHINO!"

I said this in a superhero pose, one hand firmly attached to my hip, the other pointing to the sky. Think... Superman.

All in all, it was quite un-angsty.

Damn! (Memo: hit head on table a few more times)

Sasuke, meanwhile, sat there in silence and tried his best to look dumbfounded, but, alas, the only expressions he can muster are 'brooding,' 'angsting,' 'musing,' and the ever-popular 'RAWR! I SHALL DESTORY YOU!' look. (Of course, his 'brooding,' 'angsting,' and 'musing' looks all look pretty much the same, so technically, Sasuke has only two facial expressions. While I, on the other hand, have 3. PWN4G3!)

Oh yes, so anyways, as Sasuke sat there trying to make a 'WTF?' face (which looked like a cross between the 'angsting' and the 'RAWR! I SAHLL DESTROY YOU!' looks... wierdness...), he managed to say, "...Wha...? ...Shino?"

"Yes," said I, making facial expression number 3 (the 'Smug Bastard' look), "Shino."

"But... Shino isn't... angsty... at all. He's... anti-angsty..." Said Sasuke, his facial muscles still barely holding on for their dear lives.

"Well, you never know. Shino could be angsting on the INSIDE. I mean, anyone who has a million bugs living inside you has got to be angsty, right?"

Sasuke rubbed his chin and said, "hm... I suppose you're right. Okay, Shino can come."

YOSH! Another point for Neji!

Go Neji! It's your birthday!

(...Gah... is it just me, or is this long hair staring to suffocate my brain...?)

"Okay," said Sasuke, "I guess that's all the people we need to invite. Anymore and it would be unangsty... Plus I don't want to buy snacks for you people..."

He then turned around suspiciously and apparently pulled a Cheeto out of his arm sock and started eating it.

Not to be outdone, I reached in my hitai-ate and pulled out some Pocky.

We glared and snacked.

It was quite angsty.

"...I'll print up invitations and send them out tomorrow..." said Sasuke through a mouth full of Cheetos, spraying the table in front of him with bright- chewed- orange snacklets.

"...Yes..." I said, still glaring, "I guess... I'll be going... now..."

Glaring while nibbling on a chocolate Pocky, I backed slowly out the door.

That was... pretty random.

**Next Day**

I walked out of my houseshack with the intention of taking a brisk stroll around the block and using my Byakugan to look through peoples' hous- I mean... training...?

...Well, anywho, I was walking down the lane, when a dove... a... PURE BLACK dove flew full force at my face.

Half ready to smite the damn thing, I grabbed it, and I realized in its mouth was a letter. I took it, and opened it.

_"The red blood runs down,  
Washing away the pain and agony of life.  
I can feel myself going,  
Leaving behind this cruel world.  
But before I go,  
Let's have a party to celebrate our angst!_

_Angstfully yours,  
Uchiha Sasuke._

_(P.s. another dove should be coming soon with another letter telling you where and when the party is. See you there!_

_...Or else...)"_

My jaw literally smacked the floor in shock and confuddlement.

...The bastard has to do everything so angstilly...

And to add to the aestiticism, the BLACK paper (with gray-almost-black-almost-can't-even-read-it lettering) had "blood" splattering it.

I rubbed one of the red slpotches, and when I took my finger away, I realized some of the "blood" had rubbed off on my fingers.

Idiot used paint... AND SO OBVIOUSLY.

And which was also sort of made more obvious by the fact that the "splatters" were in the shape of those sponge stamps of moons and stars and hearts and such that you buy at craft stores.

I started to laugh maniacally, but then another black dove smacked me in the face.

...Damnit.

**Aburame Residence**

Shino groggily rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, while looking rather ridiculous in his spider-patterned jammies.

When his eyes were properly rubbed, he put on his sunglasses, and saw a black dove sitting on his sheets. Shino, not being one to go, 'WTF?' first thing in the morning, grabbed the letter in it's beak and read.

_'...What? When the hell was I angsty?' _he thought.

He then shrugged his shoulders, and proceeded to climb out of bed.

Shino usually is not a very sociable person. And by usually, we mean all of the time, so, obviously, Shino was not planning on going to said angsting party and well... presumably, angst. It just wasn't the way Shino rolled.

Just then, he heard his mother, who we shall call Mrs. Aburame-san, which, in all logical sense, makes none at all, call his name from the kitchen.

"Shino, honey! Mummy has to go buy some dresses! Would you like to come along and try some on? I just KNOW you'll look adorable!"

Shino shuddered.

While angsting wasn't the way Shino rolled, trying on dresses was far LESS the way Shino rolled.

So, by use of the elimination method, he decided to go with the lesser of two evils.

After all, how hard could angsting be?

("_...GASP! Angsting is an extremely hard process! How dare you mock angst?"_

_...Shut up Neji, we're not in your POV now, SHOO!_)

**Night of the Party**

(Neji POV)

I stood at the Uchiha's front door -almost- nervously, dressed in my usual Ninja clothes. Because if I tried TOO hard to look angsty, then I would be officially not angsty.

...It's a fine and confusing art.

Taking a small compact mirror out from pocket, I checked my reflection one final time.

Hey, your not supposed to look like your TRYING to be angsty, but you shouldn't have to look like crap either.

Anywho, just then, the door opened (I hastily shoved my compact back into my pocket), and Uchiha led me into his parlor where Shino and Naruto were already sitting.

I took a seat next to Sasuke, shying away from the overall bright... happy-ness of Naruto's jacket thing.

After a few moments of tense, yet extremely angsty silence, Shino spoke.

"...Sooo... What exactly are we doing here?"

...Actually, come to think of it, what WERE we doing here? I could be... y'know... training! Or... peeing in the Main House members' soup.

"We're here..." I could see those little gears in Sasuke's head working to try and think of something. I know 'cause I got the Byakugan. HAHA!

"We're here... to... get rid of Gaara." Sasuke said finally.

"...And why do we want to get rid of Gaara?" Shino asked.

"...Because... he is a threat to Konoha's angsting population!" Sasuke said, fire gleaming in his eyes, reaching for a Cheeto.

"Uh... huh..." said Shino with skepticism, "So, what are we going to do about it then?"

"We are... going to..." apparently Sasuke hadn't thought this far, I thought with an evil glint in my eyes. It was so evil, the light shined off it and it even went 'ping!'

You know its angsty when it goes 'ping!'

"Going to..." he said, stalling for time, "...wait for Kakashi to arrive."

Damn!

Ohohoho Sasuke, touché my angsty friend, TOUCHE!

And all of a sudden there came a loud yell from Naruto.

"Yeah! Wait for Kakashi to arrive! HIGH FIVE!"

He stuck his hand in the air randomly, looking from me to Sasuke to Shino, all of us adverting our eyes and making him wait in the awkward agony of being 'left hanging.'

"Um... yeah..." he trailed off, bringing his hand down.

It wasn't until five minutes later I realized by NOT high-fiveing him, I caused him to angst even more.

DAMNIT! Curse you Neji!

I took a handful of snack foods, washing away anger with food.

...Pocky... you are my only friend...

...AHEM. Anywho, just then came a loud 'Poof!' and there was Kakashi, a full hour late.

"Yo!"

"Hey Kakashi-sensei!" yelled Naruto, standing up on the table to give Kakashi a high five.

They fived, in an altitudinous manner.

Feeling properly high-fived out, they sat back down, making me seriously doubt the angstiness of these two high five-ing people.

Honestly, what can be gained from slapping hands together? THINK OF THE GERMS!

This, of course, coming from a child who won't open bathroom doors or faucets or even the little napkin rolling out things without a napkin. It's hard but it's possible.

"So, first order of business," Sasuke began, "is to-"

"NOT SO FAST!" a familiar voice yelled.

"HOW DARE YOU NOT INVITE ME TO YOUR ANGSTING PARTY!"

The door was suddenly blown out from it's hinges.

'My 500 dollar doors!' I could hear Sasuke silently cry.

We all gasped and narrowed our eyes (except Shino... he just sat there).

"Gaara!"

To be continued...!

* * *

To everybody who reviewed: THANK YOU! (High fives everybody... because high five-ing is just that cool) Whee! I love you guys! Review lots and the next chapter be comings out real soon! 

(Then busts out some mad awesome DDR moves... and looks like a complete idiot...)

To Tsugath: Prozak and angsting teens does not mix, because they would not be half as awesome as they appeared in the show. They would just be... Kiba... or some insignificant side character...

To Random person: Is it just me, or is Naruto the only anime to have so many angsty characters? Honestly, the only non-angsty ones are... Gai... and... Lee. I think Lee and Gaara should be friends, but Gaara would you know... probably kill Lee...

To God in a box: I like your SN. It reminds me of boxes... and God. Anywho, I think that Shino would not be so great to hug, because of all the bugs inside him... he'd probably explode... (weeps)

To TheSunshineGirls: HAHA! I have written! One month later! (Gah... ph33r my laziness...)

To LoversPastForgotten: Yes! Beg, my slave! For if you do not... I'll update anyways... YAY!

To Fantastical Queen Ebony Black: Truth or Dare, eh...? (Imagines Sasuke being forced to tell everyone how he sleeps with a blanky at night) ...schweeeeeeet... You people have such awesome SN's... (weeps at my crappy one)

To Lady Snow Blood: And I love you! Haha... April Fools! (while writing this is technically 2 hours after April Fools Day... but whatever). w00t, thanks for reviewing!

To furei: ...AH! FORTUNE TELLER! Wow... you've effectively ruined my plot for this chapter... haha just kidding! But seriously, it was scarily close to what I had planned... (slowly backs away...)

To Muchacha: Neji's POV 'cause he is angstasticly awesome. Gaara wants friends... (hugs Gaara, Gaara does Desert Coffin, Authoress dead). Yes... I love your review, it was so very schizophrenic! (is a good thing)

To ViolinistBAKA: ...Kimimaro, eh? (realizes this story occurs nowhere in the storyline) I might just do that... (But It'll be awkward!) No it won't! (Yes it will! They don't even know him! They'll just refer to him as the guy who Naruto briefly fought!) Damn! (sighs) Sorry Kimimaro, you're not invited... (raises Kimimaro's angst points by 20...) DAMN!

To A manga/anime fan: NOO! Gaara must not join the angst fun, otherwise it'll be too angsty and they're sadness will implode and they will be happy! AH!

To Lala to the power of 2: ...(cries) That's the best compliment I ever received... well, besides "You're the second ugliest person in school."

To magical-flyingdragon: OOH... Gaara having an angsty party... but who will he invite? Kankuro? (...ew...) I'm scared of putting girls into the story... maybe later on they can be... cheerloosers and the angstys will make fun of them (and secretly like them? ...nah...)

To Ruby Love: Hoho... true... Gaara, will you ever get friends? (...probably not) Neji, will you ever stop being randomly dumb? (Probably not...)

To Naiei-no-miko: ..do'h, just by feeling bad for Gaara, you have made him even MORE angsty... Now maybe he will go to Burger Hut... (Does Gaara even eat...? does he eat... sand?)

To Naruke: No.. I'm calling you... YOUR MOM! Haha... just joshing with you. (Thinks that 'your mom' is the beat comeback ever)

To xl-twisted-lx: YAY! I've updated... but not soon. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

To Kokuei no Onchuu: Haha.. Falling out of chairs is not a pleasant experience. Especially when you're spinning around and you fly off it. It hurts. I'm sorry for making you angst by not updating soon... WHILE I SLAVE AWAY, TRYING TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER! (...and by slaving I mean eating Popsicles)

To Mistress of the Sand: YAY! I shall steal more phrases from you then! Like... ...happy? Oh well. Anywho, I'm sure Gaara will be fine, he angsts away his time, or sleep- oh wait... he can't do that... 'CAUSE HE'LL KILL EVERYONE!

To shadowstar711: CURSE YOU AND YOUR DSL! CURSE YOOOOU! (Sits by idly while it takes a full 10 minutes to download one song) I must have FMA…

To Coneko: Yes. I think Shino is sexy. I also think that Neji is sexy... but those eyes seriously creep me out... He's like a zombie!

To SkItZoFrEaK: ...OOH... Props for making me look up the word ' irreverent'. I read it and thought it said 'irrelevant'! Haha... I'm so sometimes dyslexic...

To Yuen-chan: SHINOOO! Yes. It's partly the chuunin thing, but mostly is the 10,000 or so bugs living in him. That's probably it.

To Ryals-Shoal: ...Ramen induced insult... hehehehehe... I like it. I shall feed you! With updates! Covered in... chocolate! AH!

...That took... lots of time... but that's okay cause I don't wanna go to sleep. Actually... yeah, I do, goodnight.

**Read? Review!**


	7. Battle Angstal

Thankies to ViolinistBAKA for the icon-y thing (Moves to go hug ViolinistBAKA... then quickly runs away... because human contact scares me... O.o) 

I said I would update soon... I lied... (smites self) SORRY THAT I SUCK. I just got DSL and have been downloading yaoi like mad... No time for writing... need time to watch smexy boys make out... hehehe...

Play Maple Story. IT'S SO FUN AND ADDICTING! Google it. Me SN's 'remuus'... give me stuff. Please?

---

Neji Over Angsts Some More

Ch 7: Battle Angstal

---

The door was suddenly blown out from it's hinges.

"Gaara!" someone yelled.

"Yes... It is I... GAARA OF THE ANGST! ...I mean, SAND... No, wait... ANGST...? Wait... GAARA OF THE SANDY ANGST!" He laughed triumphantly as we gasped and narrowed our eyes accordingly. (except Shino... I think he maybe was staring at a bug, or something...)

"Oh yeah?" said Kakashi, "Well, I'm KAKASHI OF THE SHARINGA-"

"HEY!" someone shouted, "you can't be of the Sharingan! I'M of the Sharingan!"

"Says who?"

"SAYS SASUKE!"

We all menteally WTF'd through a long period of silence.

Finally, Naruto spoke up, "Dude... did you just refer to yourself in the third person?"

"Well... all the... important... people can... do it..." Sasuke shifted his eyes suspiciously and then turned to Kakashi, "But anyways, I'm FULL Uchiha! You're nothing but a half-breed Mudblood!"

We all gasped in unison- even SHINO. But then again he could have been coughing...

Kakashi's one visible eye twitched (winked?), "WHAT did you call me?" he asked dnagerously.

"...A MUDBLOOD."

We all gasped again. And then Shino had to go crack open a window and let in some oxygen because of the sheer amount of gasping done withing a 2 minute period of time.

After we all managed to catch our breths, Gaara managed to gasp out, "ENOUGH! Enough of your silly squabbles! Iv'e come... to destroy you ALL!"

I sighed.

Why are the angsty ones always the crazy ones?

"SO!" said Gaara, pointing his finger at all of us, "I challenge you all... TO A DUEL!"

And then, with the risk of being cliched, we gasped again, as some cheesy music began to play in the backround, and the camera panned outward and a brightlight shone out from behind Gaara.

And then, Yugi rushed in yelling, "you bastard! You stole my schtik!" then he promptly fell though a plot hole... but we paid no attention to that.

---

The Next Day At Some Random Spot in the Woods

---

When I arrived at the 'Random Spot in the Woods,' I saw Sasuke and Gaara already standing there on opposite sides of the randomly cleared area, leaning angstilly up against trees.

"Where are Naruto and Kakashi?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound deadpan-nedly uncaring that I would have less competition.

Sasuke grunted in the angstiest way possible and said, "I saw Naruto smiling when he ate a bowl of ramen... he's disqualified."

"And Kakashi?"

"I saw him making out with Iruka."

Had it been humanly possible to squeeze out a thick drop of sweat and leave it suspended over my hair for a time no less than 10 seconds, I would have sweat-dropped.

"Having ANY form of human companionship is unacceptable," continued Sasuke, "he's disqualified as well."

"...So it's now only the three of us?" I asked.

Someone coughed politely in the backround, and I turned my head to where the sound came from.

"Uh... Sorry... Shino... I didn't see you there..." I said, unable to keep my eyes away from the wierdness of Shino sitting... in... an ant pile...

"...No problem," he relpied, ants crawling in and out of his afro...

"So, Gaara, how exactly are you going to... duel... all of us?" I asked.

He pushed off from the tree trunk, and walked into the middle of the clearing. "We shall battle... with... POETRY."

Silence.

"Poetry...? Oh noetry," said Shino, coughing to disguise his... strange attempt at a... joke...?

And again, had it been possible to squeeze out a thick drop of sweat and leave it suspended in air, I'm sure we all would have done it, looking like this: -.-o. And thank you, it IS an awesome smily... PRAISE ME.

"Uh..." said Sasuke, "hate to dissapoint you Gaara, but we've already done a chap- I mean, contest on poetry..."

"...Hm... This makes things difficult..." relpied Gaara, his expression still deadpan.

A silence filled the clearing, broken only by the chirping of crickets... until Gaara smote them with some sand.

Said Gaara, "well, I can't think of anything to duel with now, so-"

"-Uh... Why don't we just... FIGHT?" interrupted Shino.

Everyone except Shino gasped.

"And ruin our pretty faces?" asked Sasuke, "these faces are our lively hood! No one feels sorry for/pities/says 'OMFG... he's so deep and dark...' to someone with a big bruise on their face!"

"Exactly," I added, "how can we pull off the angsty brooding gaze with a black eye?"

"...I thought angsting was about real sadness?" asked Shino.

Had it been possible to LAUGH without losing any angsting status... we would have, but since it is impossible (unless you go with the evil laugh) we opted for the angsty glaring...of... doom.

"Um... no." said Gaara, "anyways, since I can't think of any angsty duels, I guess I'll go back to Sand Village... But I'll be back! Back I say, BACK!"

Then he dissapered in a puff of smoke... er... sand...

I brought out my eyes drops. Um... ANGSTY eyedrops... cause y'know... they have... er... um... they look like... tears?

Well, I decided that was enough randomness for one day, and left for home.

---

At Home

---

As I returened from the shower stall (i.e. bucket of water attached to a rope...) I sat down at my bed.

But then... I noticed something... something... TERRIFYING...

"No..." I said, "no... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

ZOMGS! What could have made the great NEJI scared...? Find out next time... if there is a next time... (sorry for crappy way the end was written...) 

I finished this chapter at my cousin's house WITHOUT a spellcheck. SEE it can be done. All you crappy spellers out there, if I can write a chappy without spellcheck, I'm sure you can learn to spell right even WITH spellcheck...

I shall post reviewer replied later... now, I must sleep.


	8. Very Short Chapter

Went to high school with the hopes of finding half-way intelligent people. I have failed. They still heart psuedo-hiding-from-view their half-finished, half-baked angsty poetry. The pain. 

---

Neji Over-Angsts Some More

Ch 8 : Very Short Chapter

---

"Ahhhh!" I screamed, flailing my arms and running about in an altogether very un-angsty action.

"Someone... someone... SOMEONE USED MY HAIR STRAIGHTENER!" I yelled, looking down at my haphazardly placed Chi ($140... Well worth the week's shortage of kunai) on my dressing table (upturned cardboard box), the wire running about in all SORTS of crazy directions, and the twisty-tie just LYING THERE!

Why is the twisty-tie there for, huh! It's for the TWISTING and TYING of WIRES!

OMG, these people.

I could think of only one culprit.

It had to be that Hinata bitch! If she thinks she can get away with that... weird... faux-bowl-weird-strands-of-hair-hanging-down-her-face hair cut then she is wrong. DEAD wrong.

...DEAD.

I started to think murderous plans to stop the Main House ONCE AND FOR ALL.

...Hm...

I could perhaps... pee... in their... soup...?

...Eh shuddup, it's been a long day and my brain just... died from the sheer force of SHINOOOOOO.

Well... not really. I just really wanted to say 'Shino' with alot of O's at the end.

...Don't look at me like that. You know you want to do it too.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

...YES, WELL, anyways, I decided to save the 'ULTIMATE REVENGE PLAN OF DOOM' for tommorow, for my skin was already becoming the slightest bit oily from over-thinking. THINK OF THE ACNE.

So I walked over to my calandar of puppies romping about in a grassy meadow- I mean calandar of... dark...ness... and prepared to mark down the date in which to think and/or act upon murderous intentions toward the Main House.

But then... THEN, that was when I saw it. Written there in non-descript black ink in the little box marked, '3 JULY' was the letter. The one letter... TO RULE THEM ALL.

It was the letter B.

Weren't expecting that, were you? I knew it. You were expecting an X or perhaps an A, WEREN'T YOU! ADMIT IT! Those letters are phonies I tell you... PHONIEEEESSSSS!

...Anyways, what was I saying?

Oh, yes. The B.

B... for... BIRTHDAY.

And WHOSE birthday was it you ask!

MINE.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

ARGH! THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF LIVINNNGGGG!

Worst of all, it was TOMMOROW. TOMMOROW of all days! The day of... well, it was the day of no particular importance BUT IT WAS STILL MY BIRTHDAY TOMMOROW!

RAWR! I was so wrapped up in the problem of Gaara muscling in on our territory, that I had completely forgotten to prepare to do what I did every year for my birthday; which was putting some Cheetos underneath the basement stairs- where I would hide out the enitre day of my BIRTH.

Why must I, Neji, the King of all Angst stoop to being cooped underneath the basement stairs you ask? (I certaintly think up alot of questions for you to ask me, don't I?)

Because, every year, SOMEONE, ANYONE would attempt to throw me a party.

BAH! Parties. I despise them. What with all the yelling and the fun and the blowing out of CANDLES! Doesn't anyone see how DANGEROUS it is! Not to mention you'd be getting your saliva ALL OVER the cake. WHO WANTS SPIT CAKE? It is just plain the dumbest thing in the world.

Not to mention that even being seen NEAR a party could just KILL your angsting status!

...Angsting parties are the exception... But no one ever threw me an angsting party beore... ;-;

I'm so unloved.

(That's okay. It just makes me all the more... well you know what I'm going to say...

...Alright...

ANGSTY. THERE.)

Anywho, without my pre-birthday preperations, it leaves me open and VULNERABLE to... PARTY ATTACKS!

Nu.

I felt a bead of sweat roll down my forehead, and I could practically FEEL the acne it was inspiring to burst out onto my beautiful skin! This realization caused me to panic, WHICH CAUSED ME TO SWEAT EVEN MORE! Noooooo!

I quickly grabbed an anti-...sweat... towelette and wiped like there was no tommrorow.

Which caused me to remember that tommrorow was a my birthday.

Then I fainted.

I mean, blacked out.

It sounds more manly.

---

Next Day (Zomgs! D:)

---

Opening my eyes slowly, I felt a head rush come on as I attempted to sit up.

...And that was when...

When I heard it...

The sound that still haunts me to THIS VERY DAY (which is actually right now... because I am telling this story in the present tense. OR MAYBE NOT. I hate grammar :O)...

And that sound was...

---

To be continued...!

---

Yay! I finally finished the chapter after 2 years of hiatus. HUZZAH! ...Very bad ending I know but I'm tired... I have no idea how to continue. Please.. suggestions please.

...I actually re-read this entire story and realized that it makes little to no coherent sense... OH WELL!

Also I did not put this through spell-check. Forgive any spelling errors please.

Read?

Review!


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